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Literary Fangirl

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NaNoWriMo: Days 1 & 2 [Nov. 2nd, 2009|11:16 am]
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Okay, guys.  This is, what, my sixth year participating in NaNoWriMo?  I know, right?  And in those five previous years, NaNoWriMo has taught me a valuable lesson:

I have what it takes to write books.

Clearly, I've still to prove that they're salable books, and I've yet to revise something to the contentment of someone who could do the buying, but I am physically and mentally possible of writing full-length books.  To come up with an idea and a setting and characters that can run with me for a minimum of 50,000 words. 

So if I've proven myself that I can, and have multiple NaNo Winner Badges to prove it, why am I running this particular gamut again? 

Because I've been revising for two years and can't see my other ms clearly, that's why.

Because I haven't worked on a new fiction project this year, that's why. 

Because I'm running low on steam and confidence and I'm afraid this year is going to be another waste in my writing life, because even though I completed a draft of the revision, it still needs much work, that's why.

But more than all the frustration, more than all the fear of failure, bigger than all that, I just freaking like to write.

It's fun for me.  It feels good, physically.  I have a New Idea and it's more fully developed than any previous idea, and it deserves to have at least a month of my time.  I like the characters, I like the setting, I like the themes, and I like the conflict. 

So I'm writing a book this month. 

Maybe I'll have EPIPHANIES about the revision while I'm doing it.  If so, I'll gladly stop, drop, and roll with those.  NaNoWriMo's not an experiment anymore.  It's not a source of stress.  It's fun and an outlet and an excuse to burrow away for a few hours a day.

But I've already made progress on this pet project, and I'm happy about that.

So to all the New WriMos out there, YOU REALLY CAN DO THIS and it is WORTH THE TROUBLE and IT FEELS SO GOOD TO WIN!

And to anyone else who's doing this for similar reasons as me: HUZZAH.  We can and we will.

Later, gators.




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The State of the Revision. [Oct. 5th, 2009|08:08 am]
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As we enter Round Five of this book, I know something I didn't know in previous rounds. 

Notice how I'm calling it rounds rather than drafts?  Because now it's more like a sporting event in which at least one entity gets pummeled and bloody. And while the ms might have more than a few scratches and a bit of bruising, it's me who was down for the count in September.

Anyway.

I've become aware of something I didn't know in previous rounds.

I have two stories here. 

On one hand, I have a domestic and social activism story.  On the other, I have a crime and psychological suspense story. 

They're two very distinct tales now. 

The thing I'm trying to work out before I can really progress is Do I fully separate them and let them live as different manuscripts, or do I spend another six months or a year weaving them together? 

Anyway, that's the dilemma I'm facing right now.  So we'll see what comes of it. 

Good weekend, though!  Got a lot accomplished, and some things are looking uppish.

More later! 
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Pass this one along to teens, please! [Sep. 28th, 2009|02:04 pm]
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GILDA’S CLUB LAUNCHES “IT’S ALWAYS SOMETHING” TEEN ESSAY CONTEST TO PROVIDE A FORUM FOR TEENS TO SHARE THEIR EXPERIENCES WITH CANCER

Gilda’s Club New York City, a cancer support community named for the late comedian Gilda Radner, launches its inaugural Teen Essay Contest

NEW YORK – ( September 28, 2009) – Are you a high school student who has been impacted by cancer?  Gilda’s Club New York City is launching its inaugural “It’s Always Something” Teen Essay Contest to provide high school students with a forum for sharing their stories about living with cancer.   Teens may submit an essay about the experience of their own cancer diagnosis, a family member or friend living with cancer, or the loss of a loved one to cancer.  Celebrity Judges include Alan Zweibel – Emmy-winning writer and close friend of Gilda Radner, Matthew Zachary – Founder of I’m Too Young For This! Cancer Foundation, William Sherman – Pulitzer Prize-winning writer for New York Daily News, and Tonya Hurley – author of the NY Times best-selling “ghostgirl” novels. 

More than 70% of teens have been impacted by a cancer diagnosis yet teens are often an overlooked audience, especially regarding cancer prevention and dealing with the social and emotional needs brought about by cancer.  Nationwide, 25% of families with a cancer diagnosis have children under the age of 18.  “Our primary objective is to provide a forum for teens, grades 9-12, to share their experiences with cancer and more importantly, raise awareness of the issues teens face when they are living with cancer.  By partnering with local schools and community organizations, we are hoping that our inaugural ‘It’s Always Something’ Teen Essay Contest will open the door for teens to express themselves and provide an opportunity for our community to hear what they have to say about life with cancer” says Lily Safani, CEO of Gilda’s Club New York City. 

Essays must be postmarked by Friday, October 23, 2009. The contest is open to all high school students who are legal residents of the 50 states or the District of Columbia. Subject to official rules available at: www.gildasclubnyc.org. Or write: Gilda’s Club New York City, c/o "It’s Always Something" Teen Essay Contest, 195 W. Houston St., New York, N.Y. 10014.  The essay winner will receive a $250 Apple gift card.  A ceremony for all participants will be held at Gilda’s Club New York City on January 14, 2010.

About Gilda’s Club New York City
Gilda’s Club New York City creates welcoming communities of free support for everyone living with cancer – men, women, teens and children – along with their families and friends.  Our innovative program is an essential complement to medical care, providing networking and support groups, workshops, lectures and social activities, all free of charge.

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Rules for October [Sep. 26th, 2009|07:37 am]
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Today is supposed to be the last day of my vacation.  I'm extending it until October 1.  SO THERE, MANUSCRIPT!  You do not want to mess with me.

Yeah, I've been loving the vacay.  But I'm excited about working again!  So it was good! 

It's been a mad two weeks.  Jam-packed.  Good stuff, for the most part.  V started school again, just one day a week at our church, and I scored a party-McPart-part-time job assisting in the 3 year-old class.  I really like those kids, and if The One Who Tries To Leave The Classroom is as well-behaved as he was this week (and not like the previous week), well, it won't be too rough.  Srsly, they were angels this week.  Wowza.

Lots to do today, but I wanted to share the following with you all:

This morning I took some time and wrote down some rules for myself.  And some goals.  For October.

Rules for October
  1. No working past 9 AM, with the exception of nights or full days when I am "off duty."  "Off duty" = not caregiving.  :-)
  2. No new drafting.  The aim for October is to make my book smaller, not bigger.  I don't have a word count goal, in other words.
  3. But I am allowed to make notes and hand write scenes.  I know some things are missing in the book, and will need to add a scene here or change bits there.  The idea is, if I hand write scenes, I'm not going to be looking at the word count, not writing just to be writing, and be getting the bare bones down.  Which is a skill I need to develop, since I overwrite so darn much.
  4. October is about making this thing tight.  Well-paced.  To pack punches like a drunken Brooklyn pre-Prohibiition gangster.  Seanny on a bad day, even.  SUZANNE COLLINS WHO?!?
  5. Unless I get the whole darn thing edited to my satisfaction (unlikely), there will be NO COMPUTER WORK INVOLVED.  This is all pen and paper, chapter-for-chapter, page-for-page work.  The computer is not my friend in October.
  6. One page edited per day is good enough.  Rushing this will not make me a better writer.  Rushing this will not make my manuscript sing.
If I think of more rules, I'll post 'em. 

Have a great day, all.  AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY PARTY, MERCI!  
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Grounded. From Writing. No Lie. [Sep. 17th, 2009|12:16 pm]
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[Current Music |There's Only One - Caedmon's Call]

Last Saturday I had a complete manuscript-related breakdown that culminated in big fat baby tears and me saying, "This is STUPID and it makes NO SENSE and I HATE IT and CAN YOU PLEASE TORCH MY WRITING FOREVERRRRR?"

Boy, the wise, handsome man that he is, sat down next to me.  Put his hand on my shoulder.  Asked, "Can you, at this point in time, even tell me what the book is about?"

I sniffled and hiccuped and cried more.  "No?  Because it's STUPID and it makes NO SENSE and--"

He stopped me, hugged me, and said, "What are you trying to do?"

Line edits.  I told him so. 

He said he loved me, he liked the book, and because he thought I was a little insane at the moment, he took all my book-related files from my computer.  Made a disk image, locked it from me.  Copied stuff for his safe keeping.  Took all my notes, all my related notebooks, all my index cards.  Hid them somewhere, probably in his shop, because it takes a lot for me to go in there (I'm SO allergic).

I'm partway through a mandatory two-week vacation from my writing.  And now?  Now I'm trying to figure out what AWFUL and HIDEOUS thing I can do to make him extend it for a month.  

Yeah, it was really, really good to get away from the story for a while. 

Today's Verity's first day of preschool.  I subbed in her old class for two hours this morning, but it felt like 4 hours because of no breakfast, no coffee, the Headache of '09 (it's been more or less one continual, yearlong headache, really), and this one kid who kept making escapes.  I ran more this morning than I have all year.

But HEY, I am BLOGGING and that is ALL KINDS OF WIN.

During my break, I've been reading and catching up on the housework that's gotten shuffled into the background, working on getting the Sr. High drama team off the ground again after a summer of next to nothing, figuring V's homeschooling fun out, and planning V's birthday party.  SHE TURNS 4 ON TUESDAY OMG.  *faints*  

And now, I get to plan a trip south for October!  SWEET!  @wodhaund, you and me, coffee & writing.  You promised.

The reading: Liked LITTLE BROTHER.  Loved CATCHING FIRE.  Liked WICKED LOVELY.  Loving INK EXCHANGE and my heart is breaking over BEFORE, AFTER, AND SOMEBODY IN BETWEEN.  So glad to be reading!  *pets the reading*  It's so lovely.
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Word count [Sep. 5th, 2009|12:32 am]
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You guys are awesome.  I will reply more fully tomorrow?  Sunday?  Soon?

Post freak-out word count: 1000+

And a TON of time chasing a specific plotline's tail, to no avail.  Yes, it rhymes, no it isn't cute.

So...SUCCESS.  For today. 

Thanks, LJ buds of WIN!

I've had so much coffee and Coke Zero that my kidneys have informed me they WILL be rupturing tomorrow, so, um, time for water and bed.
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When fear steals your productivity. [Sep. 4th, 2009|08:23 am]
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I've been sitting here for an hour, looking at a blank Word document and writing a few notes in my notebook about the next part of the scene I need to write.  I'm on the last leg of this book, mid-big climax of doom, and I'm terrified to write.

I know what happens.  I know bits of dialogue.  I know the emotions my characters will feel.  I know how those emotions will affect their actions, and I know, basically, how everything will blow up.  And I know what will remain.

I know that I'm close to THE END.  

The thought has my stomach rolling this morning.
You know, when I first heard the term "fear of success" I was like, WTF?  That's so dumb!  But this draft has made it real for me.  At least, I'm scared of succeeding in that when I finally get to the end of this manuscript (success), and get it polished up (success), I will have to send it to betas and crit partners.  Which could be a success or a failure.  And if it is a success, then I have to send it to the folks that wanted the revision.

Which could lead to the biggest failure of my writing life. And all you writers know how directly related to your personal life, your writing life is. 

So that fear has my little fingers paralyzed whenever my Word document is open this morning.

Yesterday it wasn't like this.  Yesterday I pumped out 3000 words of bravery, both on my part and my MC's.  But this morning, the Voice of Reason tells me, "Uh, yeah, the other drafts were okay but not good enough, so what makes you think this is gonna be good enough?  Hack."

Which leads to Voice of Reason's friends chiming in with things like, "Ah, yeah, also, your hero? Lame." and "That thing you did with the plot? You really think anybody's gonna buy that?"  And it just goes downhill from there.  "You're being selfish, taking all this time to write and not do stuff for people."  Oh, and this one: "Everybody's really supportive of you, but they won't be surprised when you fail again. And again. And again.  They're nice about your writing because they're nice people."

And then I start thinking things like, "You have 150 followers on Twitter, but only half of them are real people, not marketing bots, and of those people they only followed you back because they, too, are nice people, or have to look you in the eye sometimes."

And, "Nobody will ever take me seriously as a writer if my toenails look like this."

And soon it's, "WHY DID YOU BOTHER GETTING OUT OF BED, MORON?"

Followed by, "SHOOT! Even your BED HATES YOU! That stupid manuscript!  BURN IT and  EVERYTHING WILL BE BETTER!"

Don't laugh at me.

Don't laugh.  This is what I've gone through this morning.  And it's not even nine o'clock.

I realize the Voice of Reason has some extremely unreasonable friends.  Ape-stink crazy ones, even.  And I know that I can't just stop writing, so why delay the inevitable?  And even though, yes, the people who've supported me through these drafts are, in fact, extremely charitable and wonderful folks, they're also smart.  And I have to trust that they'll be honest as they read.  

But most of all, I'm doing this for me.  Sometimes, that's the best thing you can do for everyone around you.

So yeah.  Gonna take a shot of coffee and man up to this story. If I can beat my fear today, I'll update with a word count.  If I can't, well, the only person I'm hurting is me.  And that's stupider than trying and failing.


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A visual [Sep. 3rd, 2009|05:37 am]
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I needed to get a stormy winter morning in my mind.  So I asked for Flickr's help, and she gave me these:











The one you really wanna see, but can't because of CCL is this one of the Brooklyn Bridge being cold and foreboding, like a Cullen.
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This is the side of us nobody sees : seasons, updates, SC thoughts [Jun. 23rd, 2009|09:08 am]
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I have to say, I love that this summer has been busy.  Even though not all is right with the world, I feel alive.  I think I post more in the winter because less happens.  :-D  Now that we're active and outside and running all over the countryside, I don't have time for lengthy posts.

When I lived in South Carolina, I never understood seasons.  The grass grew in spring, died out in summer (droughts and sandy ground and all), the leaves turned colors for autumn, and in winter we got some frost, but it rarely dipped below fifty degrees.  

Here?  It's mostly snow, and then some rain, and then sunshine (like today), and the leaves turn for about a week, and then snow snow snow snow snow, oh hey it's ice. 

The rain, sunshine, and gorgeous autumn leaves?  That I really do like about Ohio.  I also like that once the snow goes away, the ground is SERIOUSLY verdant.  Green EVERYWHERE, and don't you think you can stop it.  I first came up here in summer and was utterly amazed at how green stuff was.  Also, no Palmetto trees. 

????? Y NO PALMETTOS ?????

Well, that's not entirely true.  I see a handful of Palmetto trees / SC state flags stuck to the rear windows of cars.  Turns out it's not a bunch of transplanted Carolinians so much as it is people who vacation in SC.  But still, I get a thrill whenever I see a Palmetto and Crescent Moon logo.

Palmettos are EVERYWHERE in Columbia.  I didn't realize this until my last trip down.  I'd just grown up with them being everywhere.  

I mean EVERYWHERE.  They're a constant theme in decor.  They're in wall hangings, towels, rugs, desk art.... Srsly, next time you head to SC, you look around.  Restaurants have them.  Doctor's offices.  The Columbia-Metropolitan Airport had this horrendous blue-and-white (the state colors) Palmetto print carpeting that used to make me dizzy whenever I looked at it.  

I love the theme, though.  LOVE it.  Love that pride, love that sense of belonging.  Whenever I even see a regular palm tree, I feel comforted.

Buckeyes?  Well, let's just say Ohio doesn't much pull out the buckeye except for dessert trays.  Never had a buckeye (the sugary thing, not the nutty thing)?  [info]manderley23  will make one for you.

I haven't been home in about two years, and I'm really missing it -- especially now that my sister moved back with her daughters.  I can't tell you how much I want to go there for the holidays this year.  Really trying to make it happen, too.  It'd be AWESOME if we could do that.  Get out of the freezing freezies here for a bit, too.  

Okay, other than the weather and home-state-sickness, here's what's been going on.

Writing
Hit 50k on my revisions yesterday.  Have gone over reader's report again to make sure I know what to look out for this half of the manuscript.  I still can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, but knowing I'm on the right track as far as voice goes helps tons.

Made airline reservations for [info]sboman 's writing retreat in No. Cal, in August. I can't believe this is happening, and I am SO stoked.  I was lucky enough to snatch up super-cheap airline tickets -- otherwise I wouldn't be able to make it.  

My current goal is wrap up this draft by the first of August.  I have a few more things to hammer down on the first half of the book before I can rework the ending, so we'll see how that all goes.  

Got some other side jobs on the horizon, too, including a comedy sketch I'm working on for a sermon illustration.  Should be fun...just wondering who will be the willing recipient of a spit-take.  *cough*


Verity
She's having an awesome summer.  Tons of swimming opportunities, thanks to [info]cynthiamary  and some other folks.  We've had a lot of family visits, too, which rocks her world.  She adores her cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc.  She can't get enough of people.  She also has a weekly play date set up while her boyfriend's mom and I work in the library.  She continues to amuse me.  The other day she told me I could join her fan club.  Mmmhmm.  'S my kid.


Life-In-General
The weather's brought on a spark in my mood, so I've been feeling mad social lately.  Between getting out to write and hanging out with friends, my only complaint is that I'm behind on my reading.  Recent reads include The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane by Katherine Howe, Ghostgirl: Homecoming by Tonya Hurley and Strange Angels by Lili St. Crow.  All great, all very different!  Reading The Book Thief now!  :-D  Still hoping to get the roof done this summer, and having lots of automotive issues -- those are our biggest concerns right now, so we're really stinkin' blessed.

That's about it.  Gonna see if Miss V wants to head out to the lake today.  Whaddya wanna bet she says yesssss?

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A REAL POST OMG. Writing spaces. [Jun. 3rd, 2009|10:10 am]
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Over on last week's WIP Wednesday post, [info]annpendragon talked about and posted a photo of her writing space.  She asks, "Where is your 'Under the Steps'? Where do you pound away at your WIP, drink your coffee and dream?"

I'm lucky enough to have three designated spots in our home alone, plus the various cafes where I find some time with my muse.  We have a rather big house (two stories, furnished attic, plus coal room & Boy's wood shop in basement) and only one kid, so we have a lot of leg room.  We have a basic rule about not being more than a floor away from where V is playing for more than ten minutes, so it was important for me to have some place to work on both of the main floors.  So on the first floor, in the sun room, we have the exercise equipment and the bulk of her toys, including her massive, coffin-like toybox of awesome doom  (if it had a lid on it, it would KILL EVERYONE EVER; I am grateful for no top!).

Last year, Boy refinished an old drafting table he'd kept around for years.  It's gorgeous and inspirational all by itself.  The only place large enough to put it was in the sun room.  We paired it with an organ bench (we have two organs and a piano; my husband is a musician, that's why!).  About four seconds of the table being in its new home, I claimed it good and hard. 

I wrote most of DARKNESSES at this table (I'm sitting here now).  I love this table.  Love it love it love it love it.

Took this photo last summer, when the desk faced the road.  But Verity got a swingset this week, and is old enough to play in the backyard by herself, as long as the gate is closed.  So yesterday we turned the sunroom on end, and now the desk faces the backyard, where I have a clear view of the swingset and the sandbox.  With the windows open, we can holler to one another if we need anything.  Like if she needs to go potty. 

What's pictured?  MacBook, reference materials (like the NFT NYC book, which has amazing maps of awe), the Moleskine NYC Citybook, which makes it easy to customize maps for fictional purposes.  There is a notebook for non-writing things -- any thoughts about life-things that pop into my head, so I can just jot them down without getting distracted.  My glasses, because, um, totally necessary as my eyesight is terrible.  My phone, so I can glance at the screen if I get a text or a call; usually I don't answer things during my writing time.  Manuscript.  I've gotten into the habit of making a new file every 10k into a manuscript, and then printing the new part out as it's finished.  Keeping it handy helps so that I don't have to open six files to find something I need for reference's sake.  My day planner.  I use 30boxes.com religiously, but I also keep everything on paper, too, and sync them every few days.  If I don't, I'm screwed because I'm so scatterbrained.  My Moleskine Ruled Journal is a staple.  I can't write without it arm's reach.  And fiction.  Pictured was James Dashner's The Thirteenth Reality, which [info]sboman  sent me (autographed to me by Mr. Dashner! I heart her so much!)  I always keep a book close.  Helps so much when I'm blocked -- nothing's better than reading a good book to remind you what yours is supposed to resemble, if only slightly!  Right now I'm reading The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane by Katherine Howe.  YUM.  And the ARC is all sorts of gorgeous.

Not pictured: my iPod!  Srsly, I've never been able to listen to music and write at the same time until last year when I was working on DARKNESSES.  Now I'm a total addict.  We'll do a playlist post one of these days, how 'bout that?  Currently, my BACKGROUND playlist consists of both Angels & Airwaves CDs and Jars of Clay's THE LONG FALL BACK TO EARTH -- "Lesson One" has become the theme song for UPSTAIRS.  Maybe this revision was waiting for that CD to happen.

Right now, this table has my devotional stuff on it, my revision (in a cute, already beat-up porfolio I found at the dollar store), my non-writing notebook, my iPod, and a really sweet box Boy gave me.  I stick all my extra stuff in there -- my FireWire, Kleenexes, scrap paper -- anything that would clutter up the desk. 

I do try to keep the things in my immediate and peripheral vision neat, organized, and with a little touch of inspiration.  Now, Verity's desk is right next to my sun room desk -- so she and I working together to keep that space clean so it doesn't distract me.  It's always worth three or four minutes of picking up and putting away things before I get to work.  If I don't, my Procrastinator button is as good as pushed.  The only things of hers that are on the desk right now: her neatly-organized markers and Disney Princesses box of crayons. 

The rest of my stuff is in my AWESOME BAG OF AWE that [info]manderley23 gave me before last year's NYC trip, because I took it out with me last night.  The bag deserves a post all its own. 

I ALWAYS ALWAYS have Pilot G2 pens near me.  SOMEBODY TOOK MY AWESOME PURPLE G2 PEN AT THE RETREAT LAST WEEKEND AND IF I FIND OUT WHO I WILL BE DETACHING THEIR FINGERNAILS VERRRRRY SLOWLY.  

asideWe were making bracelets last weekend, and one of the girls (likely Laura!) threatened to do something sillyweird.  So I said, "If you do that, I'll threaten you with something...awkward!"  And I think it was Carly who was like, "DID YOU JUST THREATEN TO THREATEN SOMEONE?!?"   And I was like, "Um.  Yeah?"  And everyone laughed at me.  Even me.

Back. 

This year I added a cooking timer to my desk, by the way. 

Why?  Because I was working on an article entitled "Taming Pesky Interruptions" for the parenting mag I worked for, and had to come up with ways to get kids to let parents do their grown-up work at home.  I can't go into details right now because the rights date hasn't passed on it (30 days after publication), but I WROTE SOMETHING THAT ACTUALLY HELPED ME OMG.  Yep.  That's a third post I should write.

The problem with the sunroom is that it gets c-c-cold in the winter.  I mean, it's June 3 and it's still flippin' cold.  #ohiosucks.  And in the winter mornings, before we get the fire going, the whole downstairs is pretty freezy.  So we spend a lot of time up on the second floor, which is where the library is. 

Since the table Boy made for me last year isn't supersized (it fits my Moleskine and MacBook just fine, though), I have a shelf that holds all my extra notes, journals, and things.  The couch is THE MOST COMFORTABLE THING EVER OMG.  I spend a little time up there every day, just reading and drinking Culligan and snacking on Frosted Mini Wheats.  I heart Frosted Mini Wheats.  And the brass lamp that's on was given to us by our pastor, and it's got a steampunk vibe that just flows with the wood and leather.  Big love.  

Um...the chair was given to us by our pastor, too.  The caning on the seat was busted, so Boy put a leather cusion on it.  Yep.  Also, Boy built those library shelves.  Yeahhuh.  He is a good boy to have.  ALL.  MINE.

My very personal, nobody-comes-in-here-without-my-say-so spot is up in the attic.  I know, I know.  The whole "madwoman in the attic" thing.  When I'm not on Mommy Duty, I LOVE hiding away in my office. All my research books are there (crime, history, crime, NYC, crime, Teddy Roosevelt, crime...), two more bookshelves full.  It's easily the place that gets cluttered the most -- but with a flip of the lamp switch I can tune all the clutter out and focus on my screen.

It's where I keep all my personal inspiration - trinkets, artifacts (for real: old locks, a steroscope with cards, NYPD Sergeant's badge replica, ca. 1900), articles--anything that has that feel to it.  It's old-NYC themed.  I even have a menu from a mid-1910s dairy lunchroom taped to my wall.  And NYC pictures one of my grade school students drew for me (complete with titling like "Liderty" for her Statue of Liberty picture).  She was a Bronx native.  And the Starbucks mug ornament and Brooklyn shot glass in the photo -- stuff like that.

The desk isn't nearly as awesome as the others, just one of those old Office Depot type practically-cardboard things , and but Boy got me a good chair for it two years ago, and now I can sit there without pain for HOURS.  The hardest part about having a desk with drawers is keeping it neat -- I barely use the drawers at all.  Just Kleenexes, scrap paper, notebooks, index cards and pens are allowed in the thing. 

More office photos can be found at this post.

I do have to get out of the house at least once a week.  I'll usually go to Barnes & Noble because they have a good amount of table space, no WiFi, and I know what to expect there.  I love the local cafes, too, though, and when I'm doing something that's research intensive (esp. freelance work), I'll hang out at one of those places since the WiFi is stable and I prefer to give my moneys to indie stores these days.  I crave a good indie bookstore-cafe-writing space (with a hearty YA section!), but there are none local (if there's one within 20 miles of Youngstown, OH, somebody has to tell me!). 

I guess my writing spaces are sacred to me.  They're priorities, because when they're in good condition, I feel good.  Having a toddler running around in the middle of operations was frustrating for a while, but she's learning to be considerate -- and that helps a lot.  

Speaking of The V Thing, I'm off to tuck the suddenly-unhappy one into bed for naptime.  And then head up to the office bc it's warmer!  #ohiosucks!

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Even the sturgeon and the ray, they get the urge and start to play [May. 12th, 2009|01:04 pm]
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Yeah, Little Mermaid is on.  Can't watch it without wanting to see Nate from[info]lisamantchev 's book.

Last night's OMGIHATEMYBOOK post? 

Well, I'm not like, completely recovered or anything, but I'm definitely functional right now.  That is goot! 

But mostly, you guys made me laugh so darn much.  I LOVE YOU ALL!

Also, I have a headache.  Wail!

Gonna take a walk with Miss V.

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Crit partners are MADE OF AWE. [May. 7th, 2009|09:42 pm]
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I love[info]sboman .  Steph is amazing on so many levels, but dadgum am I so grateful to have her as a crit partner.  

[info]sboman , I'm thisclose to starting a Facebook fan group for you.  Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you.

*tacklehugs* 
-----

Speaking of critiques, a new crit blog called The Slush Pile is opening soon.  Check it out over here: [info]slushy_one .  If you're unpublished and working on revisions and need some honest eyes looking at your first page, this is your chance.  AND THERE IS A CONTEST! So head on over and check it out!
------

Also, my eyes are bleeding.  *falls over and dies, but just for the night*

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If you ever love and lose your innocence, don't hide. [May. 1st, 2009|09:29 am]
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[Current Music |Jars of Clay - "Boys (Lesson One)"]

I gave my MC, Anna, an assignment: Tell me 20 things you've learned about life by the beginning of this book.

Here are her answers. 
  1. Stillness and quiet hurt.  It's best to keep busy.
  2. It is good to be left alone.  Even when you're with people, find a way to seclude yourself.
  3. Even the very best people will leave. 
  4. People want to be happy.
  5. People will try to be happy at the expense of others.
  6. People love you best when you're doing what they want.
  7. It's possible that you will never be enough for anyone, since you weren't enough for your mom.
  8. Adults don't have all the answers, even though they make all the rules.
  9. You have to work hard so that you'll be okay when you're left alone.
  10. Love hurts, but you can't be a good person and not love.
  11. Sometimes I'm not sure if I want to be a good person.
  12. Girls are capable of taking care of themselves.  It's not as easy as it is for boys, but it's possible.
  13. Not getting married is not the worst thing possible.
  14. Men can be really wonderful.  They're different than women, but they can be good.  Very good. 
  15. I like people but I don't trust them.
  16. I don't want  to hurt anymore.
  17. Maybe it's just me.  Maybe I can't be loved.  If that's the case, I should do my best for the rest of them.  The ones who are worth something.
  18. I don't want someone to love me so much they hurt someone else.  Especially someone who loves them.
  19. I want my life to have mattered.
  20. You don't have to have money to make a difference.

If you're up for a challenge, do the same for your character.  And if you blog it, post the link here so we can dive into your MC's mind!
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WIP Wed! [Apr. 29th, 2009|03:23 pm]
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My entry is over here.  It's from last week's fat batch o' words. 

In other revision news, my head footman is making waves and I've had use a sedative and Hillary Duff movies on him.  Head footmen need to remember their places and not try to take the story from their mistress. 

Serve your purpose, Charlie.  We have no use for your frivolity.  This plot is too big already.  If you so much as peep about how you fee-eel, I'll have you turned out.  And you'll receive no references from this household, I swear it.

Bad, bad footman.  *sniffs and nibbles petit fours* 
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The thousand-Farenheit hot metal lights behind your eyes [Apr. 7th, 2009|10:27 am]
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Joined [info]clean_slates .  Posted my goals from now until June 1.  We'll see what happens.

My fourteen-year-old niece is here!  SHE THINKS I AM A GEEK.  I think that is nice.

Also, apparently everyone in the show last weekend thought I was in college.  Early college.  This makes me happy.  My boy keeps me young.  

Why is it snowing?  Did Ohio not get the message that yes, indeed, it is April? 

I'll never get used to less than 75-degree April weather.  Never.

FRIENDS ARE COMING OVER TONIGHT!  I LOVE FRIENDS!  

I have so many good books to be reading right this minute.  Also, I am hongray.

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Re-write these words upon my grave [Apr. 4th, 2009|06:52 pm]
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I AM ALIVE!  And had a mad productive day today!  And am loving [info]sboman 's England posts!  YAYENGLAND!

SNIPPET!

The powder room door opens and stands that way for a moment, voices coming from beside it.  The room wraps around in such a way that it creates an alcove--a hiding spot--behind the door, and I dart to it. 

The other women come in, and I fall quiet, hoping not to attract any attention.  I don't mean to eavesdrop, but as soon as their first line is out, there's no way I can let my presence be known. 

"I suppose she's pretty," the older voice says.  "I still don't know what Eddie sees in her.  I'm tired of hearing about her character.  All the character in the world doesn't mean you can be a millionaire's wife.  It takes so much more than character."

My body tightens.  She's talking about Mother. 

"I know."  The second voice is younger, softer, and somehow more annoyed.  "You've said that a hundred thousand times already.  I just hope no one gets any ideas about Arden and that girl."

"People already have ideas, Lettie.  Augusta Richards says his mother's taken tea and luncheon with Mrs. Vogel five times since Edward's engagement was announced.  If they're not setting up something between Arden and that girl, I'll be mightily surprised."

Lettie snorts.  "Mrs. Vogel and Mrs. Seybold are on the Salvation Army committee together.  And the Women's Club.  It's the holidays.  They're probably just arranging a party.  Not a wedding."

"Don't be stupid."  If Mother ever used that tone with me, I'd probably cry.  "Little Miss Thatcher probably has wedding invitations in the works already.  She's of age." 

Stunned, I hold my breath.  Marriage?  Me?  To Arden Seybold?  This isn't just the first time I'd heard anything about marriage plans, it's the first time I'd even heard his name.

Lettie says something under her breath.  Her mother counters with, "All I'm saying is if you want Arden, you probably have three months at best to secure him.  If you don't, I say expect a June wedding.  And for heaven's sake, Lettie, learn how to fix your hair in a way that doesn't make you look like you're already a spinster."

I close my eyes and wait for them to leave, praying I won't be discovered.  A minute later, the door opens again.  As they leave, I hear Lettie ask, "She's not prettier than me, is she?"

I don't hear the answer.

I don't want to. 
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Wait, what? [Apr. 2nd, 2009|10:47 am]
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[info]annpendragon , your WIP is called Touched?

and [info]alaskanmermaid , your WIP is Touched, too, right?

My head is exploding right now.

HOW DO I HAVE TWO AWESOME WRITER FRIENDS WITH THE SAME TITLE?!?  HOW DO I PICK THESE PEOPLE?!?  

*spasms and flails and dies of weirdnesses*

I AM SO CHANGING UPSTAIRS' TITLE NOW.  C'mon, [info]sboman -in-England.  Change your title, too.  ALL THE COOL KIDS ARE DOING IT.

Hey, look!  I is revising! 

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My head is exploding and that is Not Awesome. [Mar. 24th, 2009|08:17 pm]
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MG and YA writers?  You have to go add [info]slappy11  to your regular reading list.  He's one of my friend's sons, and HE IS YOUR AUDIENCE if you're trying to write anything for MG and YA.  Technically, he's still supposed to just be venturing into MG, but he's WAY AWESOME and an INCREDIBLE WRITER and GETS BOOKS.  

So go, read, introduce yourself, ask questions, get to know this awesome kid.

Fo' serious. 

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The Office Spruce and The New York Alphabet for Preschoolers [Mar. 21st, 2009|07:30 pm]
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Boy had today off, until this evening, so he let me go out and work. 

And I did. 

And it was good.

But I was feeling a bit down, because I've come to the realization that progress now is 1500 words.

Not 1500 words a day.

1500 words a week.

Not good.  Not good at all.  I feel like I'm regressing, you know? 

So I'm all down on myself, and I get home, and what did Boy do with his day off?

He cleaned up the attic so I could move back in.  It gets chilly up in'ere so I usually work elsewhere in the winter, see.  So through the winter, my attic office of amazing becomes a catch-all for my stuff.

This is what he did:


(above) Moved that bookcase from next to the chaise to that corner.
See?  Trophies and ribbons and horses.  I did stuff once!  
Books are all nonfiction. 
History and crime and New York and Chicago and Teddy Roosevelt.  
I like those things, you see. 



(above) Moved that corkboard next to the chaise, cleaned it all up.
Moved lamp to the corner, which makes more sense than where it was.  Now I can read without the overhead light on!
The cool packaging is from[info]sboman , who is more creative than the rest of the world, and hopefully soon she will be paid for it!
The picture of the kid is Paulo, our Compassion Kid.  We've been sponsoring him for about 9 years now.  He is cool, and in Brazil.
And what book do you spy, hmm?


Brooklyn!
Bux!
Hey, old steampunky clock that does not work!



I have a closet!  On the closet door, there is a halter! 
Also, a bag from The Strand!
And a photo of the Empire State Building from under the Manhattan Bridge!
I stole the halter from my old barn the day before I moved to Ohio. 
I wanted a memento.
It was Joy's halter. 
Joy is the horse I tore my knee on.
Or, rather, off.
Right before a jump, she slammed on the brakes. 
I did not want to fall into the fence, so I twisted.
Crunch goes the knee.
My doctor said I should stop riding.
I rode in the show the following weekend. 
All those hours of posting the trot and canter without stirrups came in mighty handy.
Because I had to pretty much ride without use of my right knee.
I won stuff, though!  Huzzah!



You can't see it, but on the lamp, there is a note attached that says,
DID PUNK ROCK GET IT RIGHT?
 
Tonight, I'm lesson planning: The New York Alphabet for Verity, because I'm bored of A is for Apple, B is for Ball.

A is for Astoria
B is for Brooklyn
C is for Chrysler Building
D is for Delancy Street
E is for East Village
F is for Flatiron Building
G is for Gramercy Park
H is for Herald Square
I is for Irving Place
J is for Jorleamon Street
K is for Knickerbocker
L is for Lighthouse Hill
M is for McKim, Mead, and White
N is for New York Public Library
O is for Otis Elevators
P is for Penn Station
Q is for Queens County
R is for Randall's Island
S is for Staten Island Ferry
T is for Tompkins Square
U is for Union Square
V is for Vinegar Hill
W is for Williamsburg
X is for The Bowery
Y is for York Street
Z is for Queens Bound Z Train to Jamaica Center

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RCVRY Monday: Dreamin' of the open space [Mar. 16th, 2009|11:42 am]
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Lots of catch-up to do.  I didn't even crack open my MacBook yesterday.  THE BUSY IS UPON ME!

Okay.  Where did I leave off?  Thursday night.  Writing.  LOTS OF GOOD WRITING OF WHICH I AM NOT ASHAMED!  Wrote a scene I was nervous about, since it's the same basic scene as in both the first draft and the revision-that-failed.  I had to keep the same basic action in it, but I wanted a lighter mood from Anna, and the conversation had to be about 85% different, since I'm supposed to cut back on that subplot.  But the same basic actions had to happen. 

And I don't hate it. 

This is good.

Friday.  Um.  I did some stuff on Friday.  I just don't know what.  Toward the end of Friday, we packed up and went to Camp David* to hang out and watch Dollhouse.  Verity loves Deacon most of all.  And the Proprietors love Verity enough to not get mad over spills.   Even if the stuff spilled is the equivalent of Black Gold.  Thank you, Proprietors!

Then it was off to Boy's parents' house.  We spent the night there, and I left when morning was just happening.  Off to the very best cafe in the area, Friends Roastery.  I rarely get to go there, because when we're in Salem, we're usually there dropping The V Thing off or picking her up, with a little layover for lunch.  But I really love that place.  I'd move back to Salem for that place. 

It reminds me TONS of the Tea Lounges in Brooklyn.  More the Cobble Hill location than the now-closed Park Slope one.  Only no sofas, and smaller.  But still.  Makes me feel like I'm in Brooklyn, and that is a VERY GOOD THING.

Stayed there until about 2:00, and then it was back to Camp David to pick up my cell phone (THANKS, PROPRIETORS!), and back up to Youngstown for a late lunch and Doctor Who.  Then boom, library, where I picked up What I Saw and How I Lied, and did some research on prewar fashion.

Then, off to church, where I was to watch children during a MOPS dinner.  Beth and I ended up having 16 kids between the ages of 2 and 6. 

It was insane, and I'm still hurting.

Boy and Babykid were still with his parents.  They'd gone out of town to his aunt's birthday party, and I hear most of his (large) family was there.  Which is cool.  Guess what?  I didn't feel guilt about not going!  Huzzah!  They stayed Saturday night at his parents' again.

Which means I spent the night, in my house, alone.

O!  Glorious quietude!  

Except for this part:


When I finally went to bed, I turned on the white noise machine because it would've been too quiet otherwise.

Sunday morning, I went to Sr. High, did our thang, found out like, NONE of my girls can make it to the girls' retreat in April (WAIL!  I like them so much!), and then skipped on on proper church (hey, I"d be going to third service, be nice!).  I went back to Friends and grabbed a mocha and read about half of What I Saw and How I Lied.  Then lunch with Boy and his parents and The V Thing.  Then off to a friend's house for hummus a jewelery party.  I scored a LOVELY bracelet!  Huzzah!  And there was hummus!  Huzzah!  And I met friend's family, and they are Huzzah!  Julie, your mom is a riot! 

Then it was BACK to church AGAIN for the THIRD time in TWO days and the NINTH time in SEVEN days.  

I kid you not.

We need a gas and mileage reimbursment fund.  Srsly.

Drama practice came first last night, and the KIDS WERE AMAZING.  I am SO excited, and so glad to work with all of them.  They come in with such good attitudes, and such an openness, and I just love all of them tons.  I left practice feeling really good about it all.  I'd forgotten how much I loved working in drama and theater.  How fulfulling it was.  My co-coordinator, Kari, also rocks like you wouldn't believe.  She's smart, she's cool, and I like getting to know her better.

Although I think that, by the end of the summer, if we hear Lifehouse's "Everything" one more time, our brains will fry.

Then third service, which was great, and the guest speaker was really good, with some funny stories to tell. 

Cool things are happening in this world, guys. 
In the midst of everything bad, there is still good that thrives.


I had a pretty awful migraine the last half of the day, so on the way home, Boy was amazing and massaged my neck and shoulders.  And once home, I went right to bed.  Slept until about 2:30, got up, and brainstormed a bit for upcoming chapters and read.


Finished these two books this morning.  Reviews forthcoming!


Current music love: "Street Fight" by Hedley.

Got in a street fight,
With the I.R.S and I'm all right,
Took one to the chest but I'm fine,
It's all coming up roses.
Call me 'The White Guy With A Real Bad Case Of That Pink Eye'
But it's just a reflection of roses,
It's all coming up roses.


 
* To newcomers, it's not that Camp David.  It's what we call my best friend's house.  

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